—Barbara Bush
22-Jul-05
Essay: Your Home Is Your Castle
An Englishman's home is his castle, or so the saying goes. But what is so special about Englishmen in this regard? Nothing. The same goes for the homes of Irishmen, Scots, Welshmen, Canadians, Americans, Frenchmen, Dutch, Africans, Australians—everyone! No matter what our nationality, our homes are our castles. This is perhaps even truer for God's children.
Last Sabbath, one of our local church members—I will call her "Jenny" to protect the innocent—told me about an incident that occurred recently when two of her teenaged nieces (neither of whom attend God's church) were visiting her home. One day during their visit, they were watching some daytime TV shows, when on comes "The Ellen Degeneres Show."
When Jenny saw what they were watching, she told them to turn it off right away. The girls both cooed in unison, "Yes, of course, Aunt Jenny," instantly jumped up, switched off the TV, and ran to find something useful to do.
I jest. That is not what happened!
You can guess what the two girls really did. They pulled long faces, came up with all kinds of reasons why their Aunt Jenny should let them leave the program on, accused her of being old-fashioned, and told her that she should join the rest of the world in the twenty-first century. They argued that Ms. Degeneres' alternative lifestyle is a huge, rolling, unstoppable snowball, that we must all accept these things as inevitable, and that watching and laughing at it as entertainment on TV does not make people want to follow that lifestyle.
Jenny could have given in to her nieces to maintain her position as the world's nicest aunt, but she did not. She held her ground, and the two teens slumped off to find something else to occupy their time.
Did Jenny do the right thing? Yes, she did. She defended her castle from a Trojan-Horse-style infiltration and attack. We can learn from her positive example.
Just what should we do when we have non-church family, relatives, or friends—regardless of age—visiting our homes? Should we temporarily adopt their standards? Or should we enforce our standards, which should, of course, be solidly based upon God's standards? They are our homes. Our rules must stand: "But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" (Joshua 24:15).
Upholding God's standards is sometimes difficult, but if it becomes necessary, we must tell our visitors, "Sorry, but we do not allow that kind of TV [or literature, talk, activity, or whatever other unacceptable thing it might be] in our home," or "Sorry, but we don't allow TV [or that kind of music, etc.] on the Sabbath."
With all due respect to our guests, if they do not like it, they must—as the old saying goes—lump it! If our guests do not wish to abide by our rules while staying in our homes, we should respectfully recommend a good, nearby hotel or Bed & Breakfast. Again, this may not be easy, but whatever we do, we should not allow our God-based homes to be dragged down to the level of the world—not even temporarily!
Let us look at another, related area. Every Christian parent's nightmare is that one day, his adolescent child will announce that he or she no longer wishes to attend church services. Upsetting as it certainly must be, over the years this agonizing nightmare has come true for many church parents.
So, your son (or daughter) has grown up and does not want to attend Sabbath services any more? Fair enough. That is his own decision, but does the fact that he has stopped attending church mean that you should now allow him do anything he wants in your home? Does he now get free rein to do whatever he wants in your God-based home? Just because he no longer wishes to attend church, should you let him go out drinking, partying, and carousing till all hours on Friday nights? Or on any night? Should you let him come home drunk? Should you let him watch filth and excessive violence on your TV, or play loud, abominable music in your home on the Sabbath? Or at any time?
No! It is your home! It is your castle! These things are not easy for a loving parent, but if your grownup child refuses to abide by your God-based house rules, do not compromise! Do not allow your godly home to be infiltrated. Use the "tough love" concept and do whatever is necessary, even to the point of asking the youngster to find his own place where he can live according to his own set of rules—or lack thereof.
What if a member has an unconverted parent living with him? Same thing. Though the church strongly encourages members to look after their aged parents, if he or she cannot abide by your house rules, the member should not compromise! He must exercise tough love in defense of his castle and begin looking for a suitable seniors' home.
Finally, let us add our Mexican friends to our opening list. Yes, a Mexican's home is his castle too, even though he, like many hospitable Mexicans, might say, "Mi casa es su casa." "My house is your house."
Sadly, this godly attitude of hospitality, so wonderfully common among God's children, has sometimes been misused in the church over the years—misused to the point that whole families have descended uninvited upon the homes of others, thinking that, "Hey! We're all brothers and sisters in God's church, aren't we? We're all members of God's family. So we should be able to treat one another's homes like our own or like those of our physical siblings. Right?"
Wrong! Totally wrong! This kind of self-invitation and taking of others' homes for granted is rude, ignorant, unfeeling, and inconsiderate. We are to treat the homes of our fellow-members with the greatest of sensitivity and respect. We must not invite ourselves over whenever it is convenient for us! We must courteously wait for an invitation. And when invited to the homes of our brothers or sisters—whether those siblings are physical or spiritual ones—we must treat their homes with the greatest care and respect.
Their homes, like yours, are their castles.
- Staff
From the Archives: Featured Sermon
Strengthening the Family
by Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Richard Ritenbaugh, reflecting upon the devastating attacks on the family and family values by Satanically-inspired fringe groups with disproportionate power (homosexual, feminist, and militant leftist liberal activists throughout society), gives poignant examples of the fragmentation, marginalizing, and destruction of the legitimate family structure. God ordained marriage and the family for the physical and spiritual growth and nurturing of children. Though our original parents hopelessly botched the task'producing the first murderer and ultimately an entire corrupt society begging for destruction'God has been working systematically toward the goal of a family composed of mature spirit beings. The fifth and seventh commandments are specifically designed to protect the integrity of the family, as well as to instill a proper respect for and trust of God. Our heavenly Father gives us the responsibility to produce godly seed for Him.
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by Staff
Solomon's glorious Temple must have been a sight to behold. God's church, however, is His Temple now—and each of us living stones in it. Several analogies are drawn between the construction of the First Temple and our preparation for God's Kingdom.
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