Sermon: Husbands, Love Your Wives

#1683B
Mark Schindler
Given 03-Dec-22; 47 minutes

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We were going to begin this sermon today in Colossians 3:18-19. But following Martin's sermon last Sabbath, which almost made me scramble to a different subject, it became clear I needed to preface this message with just how important the bond of marriage must be within the Body of Christ. I think it is a good idea for us to consider what David [Grabbe] just said as we consider our place within the Body of Christ and what Jesus Christ has done for us. So we are going to put it in context and we are going to go back to Colossians as we begin this sermon, which I had entitled four or five weeks ago, "Husbands Love Your Wives."

Colossians 3:1-7 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not in the things on the earth. For you died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passions, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.

Colossians 3:12-19 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

This is not merely a helpful suggestion from the apostle Paul as written in the canonized words of the truth. This is literally a command from our great God without wiggle room for those with minds set on the things above, with circumcised hearts. It also should be noted here, although we do not have time to go into it now, the Greek indicates it is the husband on both sides of bitterness. He is the one God warns not to get bitter nor to cause his wife to be bitter.

Brethren, let us remind ourselves what Jesus Christ told the Pharisees who laid claim to divorce by command from Moses. So turn with me back to Matthew 19.

Matthew 19:3-9 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality [or porneia which means violence against the marriage. So He gives there is a little bit of a room there.], and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced, commits adultery."

I know Martin went over these scriptures last week but God apparently is making sure His holy people realize the incredible value He places on this covenant agreement. During this end time, when men in the hardness of their hearts, not only are breaking this most sacred bond of unity, but are mocking this precious covenant agreement before God with the newly-minted legislative act egregiously titled "The Respect for Marriage Act," (without a doubt mockingly inspired by Satan) this past week. Brethren, is there any doubt in our minds why God would inspire the same subject to be put before you two weeks in a row?

In this world, Satan and his demons are doubling down on their all-out attack against something that in type proclaims mankind's ultimate goal of perfect unity within the Family of God. As Jesus said, because of the hardness of heart divorce was allowed, not endorsed. But what about us? Brethren, at this point, let us put two sets of very familiar scriptures together and see what God expects from all of us during these dark days.

Matthew 5:13-16 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world, a city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

II Corinthians 3:1-6 [Paul speaking] Do we begin again to command ourselves? Or do we need, as some others, epistles of commendation to you or letters of commendation from you? You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read by all men; clearly, you are an epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart. And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Within his series on the "Covenants, Grace, and Law, Part Eleven," John Ritenbaugh made the following comments about II Corinthians 3:3. John said,

Paul specifically says that the law will be written in the fleshly tables of our heart by the Spirit of the living God. However, the circumcision of the heart is a cooperative effort. God does His part and we do ours by submitting to Him. Both parts are involved with this process by which God is enabling us to have the power to sustain a relationship with Him. And that power is given only to the children of promise, the children of God, the church, the remnant, those who are of Christ, those who have received God's Holy Spirit.

Brethren, Jesus Christ said that because of the hardness of their hearts, God permitted divorce. But this cannot be the case among those called out of this world and given His Spirit on hearts of flesh. As John wrote, our circumcision of the heart is a cooperative effort. God does His part and we do ours in obedience to Him. And within this world that makes a mockery of the most sacred God-plane relationship, we should be working as hard as we can with His Holy Spirit to find those points to make our marriages both a light on a hill and a living epistle to men. We should realize, as the Amplified Bible translation says of II Corinthians 3:3, that we are reflecting a living epistle from Jesus Christ, as Paul writes. "You show and make obvious that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, not written with ink but with [the] Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."

We really need to nail this down because this is becoming one of the biggest issues that is going to continue to show the very distinct difference between God's people with circumcised hearts of flesh, and the world that is in a state of division and chaos. Please turn with me again to a couple of other scriptures that tie right into this. First, we will turn to Jeremiah 31.

Jeremiah 31:31-33 "Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah—not according to the covenant I made with their fathers in the days that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people."

Now turn with me over to I Peter 4, please. A very important scripture.

I Peter 4:17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of Christ?

Brethren, how seriously are we taking our responsibilities before God within the single most important physical relationship we have, while recognizing this is the very shadow of the unity within the family of God?

I purposely did not listen to Martin's sermon again that he gave last Sabbath or review it again this week, because I did not want it to steer me away from any of the scriptures he used or what was said because apparently God wants this subject more firmly set within the minds and hearts of those who have been renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created Him.

We all recognize that the closest thing we have to the unity of a God-plane relationship is the bond in unity of husband and wife. But that seed of unity can only grow if husbands and wives sacrificially learn mutual submission. It is often very costly. Costly because it takes a great deal of effort to hold down our carnally-driven nature while learning to live as God lives within perhaps the most difficult, because of our carnal minded self-centeredness, and yet the most rewarding relationship that God has graciously given to men.

So today we are going to take a look at this command from God for husbands to love their wives with the goal of the perfect unity that is now complete only in the Father and the Son, while recognizing that in the flesh of a battle rages that we must win. While looking to the complete unity that is in God's ultimate goal for us, achieved only by the perfecting work of Jesus Christ in the resurrection.

Now, with these things in mind, I would like to read to you a few cited segments of an extensive article by Dr. Joseph Mercola that he wrote in his daily "Take Control of Your Health" newsletter recently, because I think within it there may be a few practical applications we can apply to help us create with God and with God's help continuing towards success in our marriages. I would like you to consider what he wrote in this article that he titled, "Giving Thanks Does Your Body Good" and in terms of giving thanks does your marriage good. And before any of you are not married tune out, do not, because this sermon will focus on the ultimate unity of marriage is about the very special relationship between the sexes that God has given to mankind alone.

But first this article, as Dr. Mercola begins under the heading of "Gratitude Defined," he writes,

As explained in Harvard Medical School, gratitude is thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially [and I might add here for us should recognize completely] outside themselves. As a result [Dr. Mercola continues], gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals. Whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.

Brethren, remember our goal in all this extends beyond the extraordinary connection between husbands and wives, but to the ultimate connection with the Father and the Son. Dr. Mercola continues a bit further down under the heading of Finding What Works:

A psychologist, Laurie Santos, who teaches the science of happiness at Yale, told NPR it's one of the practices [gratitude] that really wins out because it takes very little time and the benefits are so powerful. It improves interpersonal relationships, boosts productivity, reduces materialism, and increases generosity, both of which can increase happiness and life satisfaction. As noted by Harvard, there are many ways to feel and express gratitude and all are equally valid. You can think back to positive memories, for example, applying gratitude for the past blessings.

Let us consider this using the principle we can glean from Christ's instructions to the church of Ephesus in Revelation.

Revelation 2:1-5 "To the angel of the church of Ephesus write [remember this is the first letter that Jesus Christ sends and it is about remembering], 'These things says the one who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: "I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil.

And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent."'

You may consider this a bit of a stretch, but let us consider it within the fact that God gave you the relationship with husband or wife of your youth. As John Reid wrote in his 1998 article, "Recapture Your First Love,"

In the first century the church at Ephesus had an environment very similar to our own modern day America. It was the crossroads of civilization politically known as the Supreme Metropolis of Asia. . . Economically Ephesus was a great giant among first century cities. With its strategic location, it was chief commercial center of Western Asia Minor. . . Morally, however, the city was bankrupt, just as our nation is inundated with perversion and pornography, Ephesus was controlled by the educated prostitutes affiliated with Diana worship. . .

One philosopher, commenting on the moral climate of Ephesus, wrote that the inhabitants of the city were fit only to be drowned. He said that the reason he could never smile or laugh was because he lived amidst such terrible uncleanness. [John Reid continues] It was to members of His church who lived among such prosperity and depravity that Christ addresses His first letter among the seven in Revelation 2 and 3.

After identifying himself to the Ephesians, Jesus begins His letter by informing the church that He knew their works, both collectively and individually. He knew their attitudes, thoughts, desires, goals—everything about them. He knew their hearts better than they did themselves, just as He knows ours today.

. . . In this description, as well as from the history of the first century church from the book of Acts and the epistles of the apostles, we see a church that had fallen apart despite the strenuous efforts of some members to hang on to the truth. It was a church that had let something vital slip out of its grasp amidst the mounting trials and persecution of the time.

Christ brings to their attention that they had lost their first love, the ardent desire to please God. Their focus had shifted from where it should have been to the problems and events happening around them. Their strife, generated by angry words, bad attitudes, friends and family leaving their fellowship, and teachings being changed took its toll on everyone. The byproducts that such turmoil produced were mistrust and suspicion.

As Matthew 24:12 says prophetically, "And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold."

Humanly we might think that God would consider the Ephesians' efforts to hang onto the truth against the apostasy is sufficient, but it is obvious that he does not. For our eternal good, He expects more from us.

Revelation 2:5 instructs us to remember from where we have fallen to repent and to do the works we did when we had our first love. We have three commands here: remember, repent, and do. If we fail to follow through on these, God says very bluntly, "I will come to you quickly and remove your lamp stand in its place." This is serious!

Individually, then, we must compare our present attitudes, efforts, zeal, and love to what they were when we when we were first converted [and I added or married]. We should have no trouble doing this, because for most of us, are first months or years of being in the church [or in our marriage] are still vivid in our minds. And if they are not, they should be.

As I said, you may consider this a stretch unless you remember that marriage is a God-plane relationship; that He is the one who puts marriages of two converted people together. Even if the initial relationship was built more on lust than love, it is He who makes the marriage work through Jesus Christ, if we remember all those things that bound us together in the first place, in good times and in bad.

Dr. Mercola continues in his article,

Feeling and expressing gratitude in the present helps remind you to not take good fortune for granted. Applied to the future, it becomes an expression of hope and optimism that everything will work out for the best, even if you cannot see the road ahead.

Brethren, how well are we applying this principle to our own marriages as an expression of the sure hope that everything will work out for the best because we can see the road ahead of us in faith? How much do we look at our marriages with an attitude of gratitude, both to God and to the one to whom we have been given to serve?

Dr. Mercola continues,

After delineating a partial picture of what practical gratitude may look like, one particularly potent strategy is to write a letter of gratitude to someone whom you've not properly thanked for their kindness and to hand deliver the letter to them. And in one study doing this resulted in an immediate and significant increase in happiness score that lasted for an entire month.

We often send notes of thanks or cheer to one another, but how often do we do it with the closest person to us on the planet, especially as we are caught up in the almost mechanical efforts of daily life?

[Under the heading of Gratitude is a Struggle Dr. Mercola writes], depending on circumstances, gratitude can sometimes be a struggle. Researchers say the best way to overcome this hurdle which can trigger even more pessimism or guilt is to find one tiny little thing to be grateful for and to focus on that one thing. Maybe you've lost your job [this is an example. Dr. Mercola gives], your car was repossessed, but thankfully there is a bus stop within easy walking distance. Over time you'll find it becomes easier to identify additional things to be thankful for. Another way to exercise your gratitude muscle when life events leave you uninspired, is to identify and express gratitude for seemingly useless or insignificant things. It could be a certain smile, a smell in the air, the color of a flower, your child's freckles, the curvature of a stone. Over time you'll find that doing this will help hone your ability to identify good things in your life.

I am sure we have all had these kinds of things within our most intimate of life's relationships, but how clouded do they become over the years as we get older and often tend to focus on those little insignificant things that irritate, rather than looking for and focusing on those things that are good.

Please turn with me to Philippians 4 in Paul's remarks to the Philippians who have become divided. So we can look at these things in this letter to a church group, but take them personally in our marriages.

Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Focus on these things with gratitude and let your gentleness together in marriage be a light to all men, a living epistle of the God of peace.

Finally, from Dr. Mercola's article is something that is destroying the world around us and could destroy the unity of our own marriages if we are not careful. Under the heading of Materialism and Entitlement: Two Common Blocks of Gratitude, Dr. Mercola writes,

According to Robert Emmons, one of the leading scientific experts on gratitude, materialism and entitlement are two common stumbling blocks to gratitude. So if you cannot find anything to be thankful for, consider whether you might have fallen into one of these traps. As explained in a newsletter by the Greater Good Science Center. "Seen through the lens of buying and selling, relationships, as well as things are viewed as disposable, ingratitude cannot survive this.

Research has proven that gratitude is essential for happiness, but modern times have regressed gratitude into a mere feeling instead of retaining its historic value of virtue that leads to action. Gratitude is an action of returning a favor and is not just a sentiment. By the same token, ingratitude is the failure to both acknowledge receiving a favor and refusing to return or repay the favor. If we fail to choose gratitude, by default we choose ingratitude."

Provision [this is Dr. Mercola again], whether supernatural or natural, become so commonplace that it is easily accepted for granted. We believe the universe owes us a living. We do not want to be beholden. Losing sight of protection, favors, benefits, and blessings renders a person spiritually and morally bankrupt. [Not to mention our marriages, brethren. Dr. Mercola says] People who are ungrateful tend to be characterized by an excessive sense of self-importance, arrogance, vanity, and unquenchable need for admiration and approval. [a sure death to a marriage that must be built on self-sacrificial cooperation and love]

Narcissists [Dr. Mercola continues] reject the ties that bind people into relationships of reciprocity. They expect special favors and feel no need to pay back or pay forward. Without empathy they cannot appreciate an altruistic gift because they cannot identify with the mental state of the gift giver. If entitlement is the hallmark of narcissism, then humility is the antidote. And the answer, when you struggle with gratitude, as noted by Emmons,

the humble person says that life is a gift to be grateful for, not a right to be claimed. Humility ushers in a grateful response to life [and I might add in our marriages as well] So gratitude is not a response to receiving your due, but rather the recognition that life [and I put God] owes you nothing. It provided you with everything you have anyway. A place to live, family, friends, work, your eyesight, your breath, indeed your life. When you start seeing everything as a gift as opposed to things you deserve, for better or worse, your sense of gratitude will begin to swell [and I might add our marriages will be bound together in unity with Jesus Christ].

Finally, Dr. Mercola gave a list of a number of things to do to create an attitude of gratitude. I would just like to look at a few of them as we consider our responsibilities before God within this incredible union of marriage and outgoing concern for the helpmate God has given. Remember, we are looking at this with our God-given marriages in mind and to help us refocus away from ourselves and toward the gift that God has given us to be of service to someone else.

Dr. Mercola continues under the heading of Change Your Perception,

Disappointment can be a major source of stress which is known to have far-reaching effects on your health and longevity. In fact, centenarians overwhelmingly cite stress as the most important thing to avoid if you want to live a long and healthy life. Since stress is virtually unavoidable, the key is to develop and strengthen your ability to manage your stress so that it doesn't wear you down over time. Rather than dwelling on the negative, most centenarians figured out how to let things go and you can do that too. It takes practice though. It's a skill, it must be honed daily or however often you're triggered.

[he said] Be mindful of your nonverbal actions. Smiling and hugging are both ways of expressing gratitude, encouragement, excitement, empathy, and support. These physical actions also help strengthen your inner experience of positive emotions of all kinds. Give praise. Research shows that "other praising" phrases are often more effective than self-beneficial phrases.

For example, praising husband or wife, saying "thank you for going out of your way to do this," is more powerful than a compliment framed in terms of how you benefited, such as it makes me happy when you do that." The former resulted in the helpmate God has given feeling happier and more loving toward the person giving praise. Also be mindful of your delivery. Say it like you mean it. Establishing eye contact is another tactic that helps you show your sincerity. Prayer in our mindfulness and meditation express [Dr. Mercola said], expressing thanksgiving during prayer or meditation is another way to cultivate gratitude.

Dr. Mercola went through a number of other secular ideas of how to build through expressions of gratitude.

But brethren, I just wanted to show you a couple of practical things that you could do while always mindful of how much work God expects us to do creatively with outgoing concern in the most intimate relation God has given to men. The more each one of us learns to cultivate with outgoing concern, the more we will find the joy that can only be produced in the unity within our own marriages. So now please turn with me back to the beginning of the book and God's blessing to men that belongs to mankind alone and to no other procreating being within God's creation, as far as I know.

Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air; and over the cattle, over all the earth and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7-9 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. The Lord God planted a garden eastward in the Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. And out of the ground the Lord God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Genesis 2:15-25 Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of the Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it, you shall surely die."

And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man, He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Brethren, please note that God formed everything out of the ground, including man, who was formed from the dust of the earth. But nowhere, as far as I know, can we find evidence that any other living thing was made in the same manner as mankind. God created all the animals and all the birds. But it never said that He did not create them as female, create them as male. Mankind was created and then the woman was drawn out of the man.

Genesis 1:27 tells us, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them." Then in verses 21 to 23 we read, "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

They had their genesis in unity and then were divided as parts of a unified whole that could only be productive when working together. Brethren, please let that sink into your heads. Is there any indication anywhere that God had created any living thing—animal, plant, angels—as a unified whole and then divided into two parts? Was any animal or plant divided into two? Or were they all created individually in balance from the ground? Male and female, created individually and then united merely to reproduce. I cannot tell you this for certain, but there seems to be no indication that God created anything else in the same way He created man as part of the process of ultimately bringing all of mankind, finally perfected, in unity, into the perfect unity of the Family of God.

We just went through a very divisive election cycle that the main issue that determined most of the election results was a prideful shouting match, driving a deeper wedge between men and women, self-centered rights during a time when so many traditionally determined issues were ignored, turned out to be the primary motivational factor in choosing the leadership in the United States. Created in unity and then separated into two unique but dependent parts, as part of the incredible and unique process to build character to be perfect in unity within the God Family forever, was the way the human race began.

The genesis for this sermon came from an evening a number of weeks ago when Nancy and I had a bit of a tiff over a bit of a stressful situation, and mainly my reaction to it when praying about it and seeking God's and Nancy's forgiveness. Colossians 3:19 weighed heavily on my mind. "Husbands love your wives" and do not be responsible for any bitterness between the two God had put together to be unified.

So, in closing, I would like us to turn again to I Peter 3. Then I would like to read a short comment that I found on these verses.

I Peter 3:1-7 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

And now the comment from the Macarthur Study Bible, where it says in chapter 2,

Peter taught that living successfully as a Christian in a hostile world would require relating properly in two places: the civil society in chapter 2 and verses 13 through 17, and the workplace, chapter 2 and verses 18 through 25. At the start of chapter 3, he added two more places: the family, verses 1 through 7, and the local church, verses 8 and 9. Peter insisted that Christians are to be a witness for their Lord. They must submit not only to the civil, but also to the social order that God has designed. Women are not inferior to men in any way, any more than submissive Christians are inferior to pagan rulers or non-Christian bosses. But wives have been given a role which puts them in submission to the headship which resides in their own husbands.

Then, after some additional comments on wives and the beauty of their conduct, the commentary states about verse 7,

Submission is the responsibility of the Christian husband as well, though not submitting to his wife as leader. A believing husband must submit to the loving duty of being sensitive to the needs, fears, and feelings of his wife. In other words, a Christian husband needs to subordinate his needs to hers. Peter specifically notes consideration, chivalry, and companionship. While she is fully equal in Christ and not inferior spiritually because she is a woman, she is physically weaker and in need of protection, provisions, and strength from her husband, heirs together of the grace of life.

The commentary finishes,

In the best relationship earthly life has to offer, the husband must cultivate companionship and fellowship with his wife, Christian or not.

Brethren, this is the unity that pictures the unifying work of Jesus Christ. We husbands must love our wives to whom God has given us to serve within this unique relationship as a type of the perfect and eternal unity within the Family of God.

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