Sermonette: Teaching By Example

Children Learn By What Their Parents Do
#579s
Ted E. Bowling
Given 12-Oct-02; 14 minutes

Have you ever heard the statement that, “We are creatures of habit”? This is a true statement. From the time we were born, we begin developing habits. Developing habits is a process of learning skills and this is done clearly by repetition. We do them over and over and over again, until they are developed into a skill, which is just another word for a habit. And then we apply them into our daily lives.

A habit is merely a routine. Usually, it is most obvious as we begin developing our young children. When they are very small, we start working with them on sitting up. And we will show them, we will work with them until they develop the skill, which is just a habit that has been developed.

Then we will work with them till they are able to crawl. And then we work with them until they are able to stand up. The next step then is: We work with them and show them how to walk. And these are just skills that are developed and which become our daily habit, which we do not even think about as we get older.

In this teaching of skills and habits to our children, we, as the parent, are the key element in that development. Those skills that they will produce later on in life are those that begin when they are a small child. As they grow into productive lives, we are preparing them that they might be a part of God's Family, because they are potential sons of God. In this process, we are the most important and greatest teaching tool that they will have.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Now the word “train up” means “to initiate, or to begin, or to start.” And the term, “the way that he should go” means “according to the tenor of his way,” in other words, “the path especially belonging to them.”

So from the very beginning, we are to begin to nurture and to instruct, begin good habits in our children, and when they are old, they will not depart from them. Overseeing the guidance of each of our children is our responsibility.

Now during the feast in Topeka, I had the privilege of meeting a very nice young lady, and she was the granddaughter of Bill Cherry. Her name is Kayla. Kayla is just about one year of age.

Every morning we had the opportunity to have breakfast with the Cherry’s and with Kayla. After we would say the prayer for the meal, and everyone said, “Amen,” Kayla would bow her head, and in her own way would say, “Amen.” At that point she realized that it was time to eat.

Now, she did not understand what she was doing, but that habit was instilled in her. It will stay with her all the days if they continue to teach her. We see by the routine of teaching, we will see that by the routine of also praying, the routine of showing them the way, it will be instilled in them for the rest of their lives.

As we see our children grow, we see their physical characteristics begin to develop. The color of their eyes, the shape of their ears, the color of their hair, the shape of their nose; we start seeing that they are becoming just like us. Even in the gestures, in their mannerisms, the way they talk, the way they walk, and even in the way they stand, which I see in my son, which is how his grandfather stands.

But more importantly, it is the way they develop in their character: their manners, their kindness, their love of family, the love of God; it is all developed by the characteristics that we have. And we help them develop these all through their lives through the nurturing and the instruction process.

Please turn to Deuteronomy 6, verses 5 through 8. I think this may be one of the key verses that we see in child rearing and raising children. And this is the key to teaching our children:

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

God shows us here that the foundation of teaching our children is to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength. This is our part—our part of the instruction of our children—that we are to be training, while drawing nearer to God; developing God in our lives that we may train them.

The previous chapter, chapter 5 of Deuteronomy, shows us the instructions of the Ten Commandments. And in all the chapters around that, we see the chapters of the statutes, and the training that we are to have. And throughout the Bible we have inspiring stories to learn from. But if we do not believe them and do not live by them, then our children will not believe in and live by them as well.

Now, in our house, we do have the Ten Commandments posted in our house in several places. We have several Bibles to study from. We have commentaries and other research materials. We have the Forerunner and other reading materials.

But the greatest teaching tool that they have are we, the parents. When we read to them, when we keep the Sabbath, we are to put that principle into action; we are to conduct ourselves on the Sabbath in a holy and proper way. We show our fear of God by diligently—every day—trying to live by the Word of God. We are leading by example, and so then we are teaching by example.

And if we are teaching by our example, or even if we are not teaching by our example, we are teaching. If we teach them to walk the path in which we do not walk ourselves, they will not walk in it. He that preaches to his children what he does not practice is working a work that will never go forward.

A parent who tries to train without setting a good example is building with one hand but tearing down with the other.

James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

We are deceiving ourselves if we think that we can teach in any other way.

I would like to just go through a few examples. We can go through the gospels learning of the example that Jesus Christ has set for us, because all through the gospels, He taught us by His example. For three and a half years we see Christ teaching and talking to the disciples and the multitudes that followed. And He worked to establish various skills and practices in His disciples through His word that He was teaching, through the Word of God that we are learning from today, always setting the right example for them to follow.

He showed them how to be calm in a crisis when they were out on the raging sea. He showed them how to be angry without sinning when He cast the merchants out of the Temple. He showed them gentleness when He blessed the little children. He showed them humility when He washed the feet of the disciples. He showed them how to go through a trial when He was arrested illegally, and then beaten, and finally killed. He died teaching us His patience, His longsuffering, and how to forgive. Every day He was living by example and teaching by example.

And through His example, we are able, then, to see the character and the mind of the Father, because Christ did say when you see Me, you see the Father. So every day we have the opportunity to nurture and to instruct. From the time that we get up until the time we go to bed, we are able to show them our love, our dedication to God, and that we do think the way that God thinks. So when we pray and when we study, and when we work and when we play, we are teaching.

We must have true love for our mates, for our children, for our family, and to have a true love for the brethren because:

I John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

So our actions are the most important that we have for our families.

When we go to work, we do the best job possible for our employers and our clients. We keep our homes clean and presentable, teaching them proper habits at home in this regard.

And how react when we are cut off in traffic. Do we get angry? When we are praised, and when we are scorned. And in play our attitude when we win, and our attitude when we lose.

Even at softball practice, when Richard throws a fastball, and I catch it in the palm of my glove instead of the web of my glove—whatever my reaction is, I am teaching.

Through our tests, through our trials, through our sicknesses, through our pain and sufferings, and even through death, when we lose a job and we have no work to do, if that faith remains in us, and that trust in God, we are teaching the right principles.

In all that we do, we are giving a lifetime of teaching; we are giving a lifetime of training, so when they grow old, they will not depart from it.

And so our goal should be that they see Christ in us, and that they will have the same goal for their life.

It is easy to understand, then, why we must be praying for God's direction and God's intervention in all that we do. It is easy to see why we must be examining ourselves every day that we are walking His way.

I would like to close with a poem by Edgar Guest:

I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear;
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

I soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
…
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the way.

TEB/rwu/drm