Children's obedience to parents is one of three applications of the general principle of submitting to one another in the fear of Christ, alongside wives to husbands and servants to masters. Paul restated the fifth commandment as applied to children, and he adds "in the Lord" to the command in Ephesians 6:1: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." The only exception is when parents try to make a child do something contrary to what God teaches. Such submission is not merely good in itself or a matter of social convention. It flows from the motive that governs all Christian living: fear of Christ, meaning the loving dread of disappointing or grieving the One who gave Himself for us. Only those filled with the Holy Spirit and producing its fruit can submit this way. The world, which resents being told no, cannot. Submission means voluntarily laying aside self-assertion, self-centeredness, and the individualism of a spoiled child who was never told no and who rules the household. Children must not rule in the family. The home is where this duty begins, and a person who does not practice it there cannot be expected to practice it in the church. Because God and Christ have made Their will plain and Christ gave the example of humility, parents and children have no need to clash, and no excuse for it. Loving parents feel grief when their children fail them, and children should naturally feel the same toward their parents.

Children must honor and obey their parents, because parental authority is the divinely ordained chain of command. The fifth commandment (Deuteronomy 5:16) stands directly after the four commands about God and carries the promise of long life and well-being. Paul repeats it in Ephesians 6:1-3, and honor includes obedience. Obeying "in the Lord" carries three nuances: obey so far as parents command what is right, since a child need not obey a command that leads to sin and must decline politely and respectfully if it comes to that; obey as though obeying Christ; and obey because it is the Lord's will and pleases Him (Colossians 3:20). Jesus honored both His earthly parents and His heavenly Father, setting the example. God treats striking or cursing parents with utmost seriousness (Exodus 21:15, 17; Matthew 15:4), and the rebellious son of Deuteronomy 21 shows where unchecked defiance leads. Respect for parents lays the foundation for respecting all authority and for submitting to God the Father, giving a child a great advantage. Parents must therefore establish that their word is law, with children asking permission and keeping them informed. Yet this authority operates within mutual submission in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21), and it must be joined with godly outgoing love, never harsh or authoritarian. Parents lay the foundation by disciplining early and diligently, giving clear rules rooted in the Ten Commandments, so that children come to live by them as their own character.

God has set the family in an order of father, mother, and children, and the father holds ultimate authority and responsibility under Christ. Children are to obey and honor their parents in the Lord, as Ephesians 6:1-4 commands, and the children of church leaders especially must be kept in submission and reverence to both father and mother (1 Timothy 3:4, 12). Proverbs speaks in the voice of the heavenly Father to His children, urging them to hear a father's instruction and not forsake a mother's law, because that instruction is a lamp and the way of life. Mother and church should teach what the father teaches. Submission (hupotasso) means placing oneself under another in the order God has set, as soldiers rank under officers, and being content there while striving to be the best one can be in that place. God places people where they will learn and grow most, not because some are superior. Everyone submits to one another in the fear of God, following Christ, who submitted to the Father. A child's obedience belongs within this pattern, which trains believers for the Kingdom. Fathers in turn must teach God's way diligently and not provoke their children, so that obedience rests on a father who imitates God the Father.

Honoring and submitting to parents, as the fifth commandment requires, is the first commandment with promise and the foundation of respect for all authority. A child taught at home to honor parents will have little trouble following the laws of the land, because the attitude learned there generalizes to civil governments (Romans 13:1-5; 1 Peter 2:13-17), employers (Ephesians 6:5-9), older people (Leviticus 19:32; 1 Peter 5:5), and the ministry (Hebrews 13:17). Rebellion in the home soon becomes rebellion against government, work, and church, and above all against God. The most important transfer is to God Himself. To a small child a parent stands in the place of God, as creator, provider, lawgiver, teacher, and protector, so the reverence and humility learned toward parents carry over to God when He calls a person. Godly principles and character built in the human family become transferable into the spiritual family of God's Kingdom. The promised length of days means quality of life as well as quantity: health, family, livelihood, peace, and good government. Children gain this quality as they live within a solid family structure and watch their parents honor and trust God. Luther warns that those who will not submit to parental discipline will have to obey the hangman. A strong reciprocal bond between parent and child brings the blessing of a long, productive, satisfying life and meets the deep human need to belong and be needed.

Children's submission to parents is one example of the mutual submission Christians owe one another (Ephesians 5:21), and Paul names two duties: obedience and honor. Obedience is the fundamental relationship of child to parent. It is right by natural law, which all cultures recognize, and it is a Christian duty grounded in the fifth commandment. Disobedience to parents appears among serious sins in Romans 1:30 and II Timothy 3:2, and the law prescribed death for cursing or striking a parent or for persistent rebellion, because disobeying parents is at heart spiritual rebellion against God. Parents stand as God's representatives, so teaching a child to obey them teaches obedience to God, and parents must enforce it. Obedience is "in the Lord," so it is not absolute. A child owes obedience in everything except what contradicts God's revealed law, as with a non-Christian parent who forbids following Christ. Even then the child should look for the good in the parent and honor it. Honor goes beyond obedience. The Hebrew kabbed means to give weight, so children must listen to parents with extra attention. One can obey resentfully, but honor requires admiration, respect, and commitment from the heart. Respect is earned, but honor of parents is commanded, simply because they are the source of the child's life. The commandment carries a promise that it will go well with those who keep it. This is not a guarantee of individual longevity, but God's blessing rests on those who work at these relationships. Obedience also evidences that children know God. Parents, for their part, must not exasperate their children and must raise them in the Lord's training and instruction.