Martin Collins, focusing on an insight by Leonard Sax in his book Girls on the Edge, warns that the transition from girlhood to womanhood has been made extremely difficult because of impossible societal demands requiring young women to become sexy supermodels, a demand out of sync with the real adult world. Taylor Swift, in her poignant Love Story ballad, expresses a longing for a more tranquil time when love was not a cheap one-night stand. Fifty years ago, women were the gatekeepers of sexual activity, with virginal purity a high priority. Sadly, sexual purity in today’s media seems to be a badge of dishonor. Girls today often feel ashamed of appearing virtuous. The entertainment media, in the spirit of Isaiah 5:20, have called bad good and good bad. The penalty for sexual immorality is still death; the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman should still be the ideal for young girls transitioning into womanhood.
Martin Collins suggests that many singles have found dating in the church difficult, consequently turning to the world for companionship, courting dangerous consequences. Marriage is not anything to jump into compulsively or impatiently. Before commitment to an engagement, time, cultivation, and restraint are necessary components of responsible dating. Three steps of dating include (1) keeping the relationship moving from acquaintance into friendship on a totally non-romantic basis, (2) working to discern in the other person his or her attitude toward God and His truth, and (3) only as it is clear that God is calling the other person can one consider turning the relationship into a romantic one. If singles rely upon God, He will provide the right mate at the right time. It is important that one does not become unequally yoked; difference in values will ultimately destroy the relationship. Singles need to cultivate godly faith and hope, seeing God's plan unfold in their personal lives, realizing that God will provide a mate at the right or proper time.
Martin Collins, reflecting on the pervasive influence of pornography on the Internet, television, music, and print media, suggests that young people engaging in premarital sex are acting like sheep to the slaughter, totally oblivious to the real facts of life. Dating should be preceded by wholesome group activities; God created us as social beings, placing a longing in each individual for a member of the opposite sex. The purpose of dating should not be considered merely a pre-marriage ritual designed to prepare one for marriage, but instead (1) to develop wholesome interactions with the opposite sex in contrast to the world's dating games, totally mired in the lures of temptation and emotion described by James 1:14-15; (2) to help individuals to see their own strengths and weaknesses, gradually understanding themselves; (3) to develop practice in serving others, and (4) to discover the person one will marry. The more similarities there are in a relationship, the less likelihood that conflicts will emerge. A key ingredient in the dating process is faith in God's purpose in each person's life. The relationship one has with God takes precedence over any relationship with any other human being.
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