Anger is not always visible; it often hides in subtle, indirect, and deceptive forms, burning inside a person and driving quiet, creative harm to others (Proverbs 26:24-26; 16:29-30). Paul warns against anger, wrath, malice, and evil speaking in nearly all his epistles (Romans 12:17-19; Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:8), and faithful congregations were unlikely to be committing dramatic violence. The warnings instead apply to small, covert acts, such as repaying gossip with gossip or saying something true but unhelpful, when godly love covers a multitude of sins. Hidden anger can appear as purposeful unfaithfulness in commitments, intentional procrastination to keep others off balance, or a task done poorly because the person never wanted to do it. It can mean refraining from good that is within one's power, giving mixed messages, or withholding needed information as punishment. It can also show up as secretly rejoicing at another's calamity or pouting at a rival's success. These may seem minor, but ungodly anger in any guise destroys both the person and others unless it is dealt with and removed (Proverbs 29:22). Because the heart is behind it, those who make a habit of anger and its cousins will not fit in God's Family. Jesus' disciples instead show the love of I Corinthians 13, which looks out for others' well-being even at personal cost.

Passive aggression, a term first used by military psychologists for soldiers who showed passive resistance and reluctant compliance, is not alternating passivity and aggression but anger, wrath, malice, and hatred expressed in hidden, subtle ways. Its forms include verbal ambiguity, blaming others, chronic lateness, intentional inefficiency, sulking, back-handed compliments, withholding information, sabotage, procrastination, and resentment toward authority figures or successful peers. Its root is unresolved anger, often from a childhood power struggle with a harsh or intractable parent, which becomes ingrained until latent anger is the lens through which a person sees the world. This is why Paul twice warns fathers not to provoke their children to wrath (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). Such anger is a learned habit, so it can be broken and replaced with godly responses. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18), and emotional wounds can be brought to God for healing, which may be instant or gradual. Psalm 37:7-9 pairs two commands that must work together: cease from anger and wait on the LORD. Letting go of anger becomes possible by submitting to God's sovereignty rather than continuing a struggle for control, trusting that He will deal with evildoers and reward the righteous. Unrighteous anger, however well hidden, destroys relationships, and one's relationships with others reflect one's relationship with God (I John 4:20). Those who meekly wait on God will inherit eternal life.

Demeaning, sarcastic, and condescending speech is a passive-aggressive form of verbal abuse that delivers insults and humiliation behind a façade of friendliness or humor. It is far more destructive than many realize, and worldly entertainment, advertising, and the workplace have so ingrained it that Christians may not recognize how much it has shaped them. Behind it lies pride and arrogance, a craving for superiority and power, which James 4:1 traces to the cravings at war within people for power, prestige, popularity, and other "me first" goals. Research on school and workplace aggression shows its toll: lost jobs, reduced self-esteem, broken relationships, and even retaliatory violence. Training programs and re-education cannot cure it because it is a deep-seated spiritual problem. Words can cut like swords (Psalm 64:3-4), and Jesus warns that people will give account for every idle word (Matthew 12:36). Some become so accustomed to abusive speech that they deny it even when confronted. God's people must follow Christ, who answered verbal attack with love and forgiveness. Ephesians 4:29 and I Peter 3:8-11 call for words that build up, for compassion and humility, and for not returning reviling for reviling. Even joking must be guarded, since unintentionally cruel words injure relationships. Loving speech fulfills God's law (Romans 13:10).