Richard T. Ritenbaugh: It is not uncommon today to hear news of some celebrity having a child out of wedlock. ...
How are the young people in the greater church of God supposed to approach the dating situation today? This article addresses this issue and gives advice on dating, sex and enjoying your youth.
Martin Collins suggests that many singles have found dating in the church difficult, consequently turning to the world for companionship, courting dangerous consequences. Marriage is not anything to jump into compulsively or impatiently. Before commitment to an engagement, time, cultivation, and restraint are necessary components of responsible dating. Three steps of dating include (1) keeping the relationship moving from acquaintance into friendship on a totally non-romantic basis, (2) working to discern in the other person his or her attitude toward God and His truth, and (3) only as it is clear that God is calling the other person can one consider turning the relationship into a romantic one. If singles rely upon God, He will provide the right mate at the right time. It is important that one does not become unequally yoked; difference in values will ultimately destroy the relationship. Singles need to cultivate godly faith and hope, seeing God's plan unfold in their personal lives, realizing that God will provide a mate at the right or proper time.
Solomon uses the analogy of burning oneself to describe sinning. "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared?" John Reid explains.
Martin Collins, focusing on an insight by Leonard Sax in his book Girls on the Edge, warns that the transition from girlhood to womanhood has been made extremely difficult because of impossible societal demands requiring young women to become sexy supermodels, a demand out of sync with the real adult world. Taylor Swift, in her poignant Love Story ballad, expresses a longing for a more tranquil time when love was not a cheap one-night stand. Fifty years ago, women were the gatekeepers of sexual activity, with virginal purity a high priority. Sadly, sexual purity in today's media seems to be a badge of dishonor. Girls today often feel ashamed of appearing virtuous. The entertainment media, in the spirit of Isaiah 5:20, have called bad good and good bad. The penalty for sexual immorality is still death; the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman should still be the ideal for young girls transitioning into womanhood.
John Ritenbaugh, reflecting upon problems understanding the W.C.G. 1974 doctrinal decision on Divorce and Remarriage, contends that any given doctrine must be built layer by layer, combining and comparing scriptures rather than allowing one scripture (such as Romans 7:1-3) to determine the doctrine. Jesus Christ initially appears to side with the position of Rabbi Shamei (divorce for adultery or marital unfaithfulness only) rather than Rabbi Hillel (who more liberally allowed divorce for any reason). When we understand that porneia includes all the hideous perverted sexual sins that go beyond ordinary adultery- including bestiality, pedophilia, homosexuality, incest, and every other imaginable sexual perversion, we understand that Jesus gave a greater latitude and flexibility in these divorce decisions than we had earlier assumed (based exclusively upon adulterous 'fraud'). Any violence against the marriage contract (stemming from unconversion) would constitute grounds for divorce, and would permit the converted partner to remarry. Mutual access to the tree of life (God's Holy Spirit) gives marriage the best (actually the only) chance to succeed.
Martin Collins, reflecting on the pervasive influence of pornography on the Internet, television, music, and print media, suggests that young people engaging in premarital sex are acting like sheep to the slaughter, totally oblivious to the real facts of life. Dating should be preceded by wholesome group activities; God created us as social beings, placing a longing in each individual for a member of the opposite sex. The purpose of dating should not be considered merely a pre-marriage ritual designed to prepare one for marriage, but instead (1) to develop wholesome interactions with the opposite sex in contrast to the world's dating games, totally mired in the lures of temptation and emotion described by James 1:14-15; (2) to help individuals to see their own strengths and weaknesses, gradually understanding themselves; (3) to develop practice in serving others, and (4) to discover the person one will marry. The more similarities there are in a relationship, the less likelihood that conflicts will emerge. A key ingredient in the dating process is faith in God's purpose in each person's life. The relationship one has with God takes precedence over any relationship with any other human being.
Martin Collins, referring to a recent study reported by Psychology Today, stating that cohabitation has led to increased divorce, marital violence, and lack of fidelity after marriage, points out that mass media has shamelessly used sex to promote materialism. Sex has been characterized as the cornerstone of mass persuasion. Consequently, faithful marriage is endangered as the flames of lust, encouraged by mass media, have caused individuals to sin against their own bodies. God invented marriage to typify the union between Christ and the church, designing male and female (not the 58 genders proposed by one major media network) to meld into one complementary union-a single organism. The world mocks marriage, ignoring the rules instituted by God Almighty which would guarantee its success, body-body, soul-soul, and spirit-spirit. God asks Christians to marry another Christian in order to avoid the pain, lack of compatibility, and heartache of being unequally yoked. Compartmentalization is not an option in a Godly Marriage. In the Ephesians 5:22 formula, wives subject themselves to their husbands as to Christ, but husbands are mandated to love their wives as Christ loved the church, being willing to sacrifice their lives for them. God will not answer the prayers of husbands who do not love their wives. As both husband and wife yield to Jesus Christ, their love can be perpetually rekindled.
Martin Collins, averring one of the major things for which we can be thankful is the marriage covenant, examines some of the chilling, corrosive, and detrimental consequences to a society which spurns the God-given marriage covenant. Radical feminism has tried to empower one gender by disabling and marginalizing the other gender, creating a pathological, dysfunctional society in which women cannot find good men to love and cherish and men cannot find good women to love and cherish. The irresponsible social engineers who have launched the ill-fated sexual revolution have damaged the family structure, polarizing men and women rather than viewing them as inseparable partners (metaphorically like two halves of the moon) as God had intended. The pattern of Eve as a help-meet to Adam was instituted before Adam and Eve sinned and was consequently not abrogated by Christ's sacrifice as some Biblical feminists have asserted. Women, to be sure, were never created as servants to their spouses but as complementary companions, sharing physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual relationships which mirror Christ's love for the church by sacrificing His very life for her. God intended husbands and wives to be one in mind and spirit, not bifurcated as Solomon's spiritual relationships with his pagan wives. Marrying outside of the faith makes it difficult to establish this spiritual connection. Daniel Lapin has summarized the pitfalls of the egalitarian marriage arrangements as encouraged by 'liberated' women. In our decadent western culture, the mortal enemies of the marriage covenant consist of (1) the pleasure seeking new-hedonism (or the 'new' morality), (2) the widespread acceptance of adultery, (3) the ease of divorce and annulment, and (4) the legalization of abortion (the equivalent of apostate ancient Israel's sacrificing children to Molech. Marriage was created for us to understand the spiritual God-plane relationship between Christ and the Church.
Some equate abstinence with religious asceticism. Abstinence, however, has a much broader purview. Martin Collins explains that Christians may need to abstain from more than just sinful actions.
Richard T. Ritenbaugh: Kathleen Sebelius, U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, announced on January 20, 2012, that, as part of preventive health services for women, all health plans must provide no-cost coverage—including deductibles and co-payments—for all contraceptives ...
Of all of the Ten Commandments, the seventh, "You shall not commit adultery," most clearly covers the subject of faithfulness. The prophet Amos exposes Israel as a people who have a particular problem with this sin and with faithfulness in general. John Ritenbaugh reveals how unfaithfulness in marriage and other areas of life devastates family and society.
John Ritenbaugh focuses on the apostle Paul's response to the bitter altercation between Euodia and Syntyche, women church leaders at Philippi, who succeeded in polarizing the congregation by their contentious pride, placing their obsessive desire to be right over unity. Paul urges them to follow the example of Christ, who emptied Himself of His divinity, assuming the role of a bond servant, exalting others over Himself, prompting God the Father to exalt Him above all others. Godly leadership is a function of submitting to the covenants God has made with us, including the marriage covenant, setting the proper pattern of all forms of institutions, including educational, governmental, medical, and religious institutions. Secular, progressive humanists, inspired by Satan, in their hatred toward God's covenants, through their endorsement of moral relativity and the new morality, fostering adultery, fornication, as well as feminism, homosexuality, polygamy, and transgender aberrations, have savagely attacked God's marriage covenant. Progressive humanists over the years have succeeded in making divorce as easy as falling off a log, and murder on demand (abortion) a convenience attended with no longer any trace of resistance. Paradoxically, hedonism, a philosophy which holds that pleasure is the highest aim in life, can never lead to real pleasure, but seeking to please God by serving others brings maximum pleasure. The marriage relationship, becoming totally one with one another as God the Father and Jesus Christ are at one with one another, provides the pattern of the true meaning of love—not feelings, but actions (consisting of serving and caring). Keeping God's Commandments demonstrates the highest form of love. Along with all the other gifts in the universal Edenic Covenant, identifying God as our benevolent Creator, who designed this earth for mankind to tend and keep, providing the marriage covenant as a God-plane relationship, the Sabbath Day educates us for service in God's Kingdom.
In many respects, America has lost its moral and ethical foundation. Richard Ritenbaugh presents evidence from the fields of medicine, politics and religion that the slide into immorality is quickening.
Martin Collins, citing statistics from the World Health Organization, identifies suicide as the third leading cause of death among 15-24 year-olds, immediately following homicide and accidents. It is the tenth leading cause of death for all ages, snuffing out 105 lives each day and 300,000 per year. Contributory factors for this evil include depression, deteriorating family life, media glorification, and the pervasive drug culture. The progressive liberal culture, promoting early sexuality, self-esteem, and self-love since the early 1950's, have not factored in the inconvenient truth that the brain development of a young adult often does not coalesce until the age of 25. The perverse self-absorption promoted by our current culture is a major contributory cause of suicide because individuals feel they are responsible only to themselves, forgetting that God is the giver of all life and owns us totally. We are not our own; we belong to God. Suicide is a direct breaking of the Sixth Commandment. The antidote to suicide is to replace the twisted, skewed, self-absorbed mindset with a determination to serve others, taking upon ourselves the yoke of Jesus Christ, who alone is able to heal a broken heart.
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