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Christian Dating: Advice for Today
Article by StaffIn these challenging times, preparing for marriage requires careful consideration and adherence to godly principles, especially as the church faces division and the selection of potential mates has become limited. If you choose to pursue marriage despite the present distress, prioritizing your relationship with God remains paramount. Dating, as a crucial part of the marriage process, involves exploring the personalities of various individuals to find a compatible partner. How you approach dating significantly impacts the success of your future marriage, much like practice determines performance in athletics. Without proper preparation and a clear vision, the desired goal of a successful marriage remains an empty dream unless channeled into an intelligent plan and action. Marriage marks the beginning of a whole new life, leaving the familiarity of home to unite with another person until death. God intends this union to be permanent, and while young people often assume their marriage will be wonderful, understanding the causes of success or failure is essential. To create a successful union, couples must blend different backgrounds, beliefs, goals, and emotional structures. Finding someone with shared values, family backgrounds, and interests eases this blending process. Observing a prospective mate in various situations—when tired, hungry, stressed, or tempted—reveals their character, whether they exhibit selfishness, disrespect, laziness, or responsibility. Interactive activities like sports or hiking provide insight into their competitive spirit, teamwork, perseverance, and capacity to achieve goals, unlike passive outings such as movies. Religion holds critical importance in marriage preparation. God instructs that marriage must be only with another within the church, as differing outlooks on life can create significant challenges. Marrying outside the church often leads to struggles over teaching children, financial decisions, and moral differences, frequently resulting in divorce or unhappiness. Ethnic and cultural similarities also facilitate the blending of personalities, reducing potential distress for future children who might struggle with acceptance in mixed-race families. Dating pitfalls, such as going steady too early, limit exposure to diverse personalities and increase temptations for physical involvement. Sex, a gift from God for married couples, binds husband and wife when used within marriage, but outside it, results in guilt, shame, and lifelong regret. Foreplay and physical intimacy should be reserved for marriage, as mental and emotional traits, rather than physical attributes, determine long-term compatibility. If the mind and attitude of a potential mate are right, the physical aspects of marriage will follow suit. Patience and faith in God are vital in these times of scarce marital prospects due to the scattered church. God understands the plight of youth today and is preparing His Son's bride for marriage. Enjoying youth carefully through travel and education, while avoiding premature emotional and sexual entanglements, positions one to receive God's guidance. Trusting Him first ensures that He will provide a suitable partner at the right time, whether in a place of safety or at the beginning of the Millennium under better conditions. God remains the ultimate answer to the deepest longings for marriage, promising to fulfill dreams for those who remain faithful and patient.
Sacredness Of Marriage
Sermonette by James BeaubelleMarriage, as a divine institution, holds a sacred place in God's plan for humanity, established from the beginning as a union between one man and one woman. In Genesis 2:18 and 24, God declares it is not good for man to be alone, creating a helper comparable to him, and sanctifies their relationship by joining them as one flesh, forming the foundation of family. This union, dignified by God, is intended to produce godly offspring, as seen in Malachi 2:14-16, where God expresses His hatred for divorce and emphasizes the covenant nature of marriage, urging none to deal treacherously with their spouse. The purpose behind God's design of male and female is twofold: to seek godly children and to elevate humanity as co-partners in His creative works, bringing many sons into His family. This places marriage and family on a moral level far above worldly perceptions, highlighting God's profound love and wisdom for mankind. Any alteration to this divine structure is seen as rebellion against the Creator, undermining the sanctity of marriage. Christ reinforces the permanence of marriage in Matthew 19:4-6, affirming that what God has joined together, man must not separate, echoing the binding ties established at creation. Marriage also carries a deeper spiritual significance, symbolizing the relationship between Christ and His church, as well as God with Israel, evident in both Old and New Testaments. In Ephesians 5:22-33, parallels are drawn between husbands and wives and Christ and His church, rooted in the love God has for the marriage covenant, urging husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and wives to respect their husbands. Preparation for marriage, both physical and spiritual, requires diligence and commitment. Just as a bride prepares meticulously for her wedding, so must the church, betrothed to Christ, actively prepare for His return. Baptism into the Body of Christ is akin to a betrothal, carrying the same intimacy as a human marriage covenant. This preparation underscores the importance of maintaining the sacredness of marriage, honoring it as God does, and resisting the worldly trends that diminish its value.
Christian Marriage (Part One)
Sermon by Martin G. CollinsFor those who are not married, it is crucial to recognize that remaining single does not imply incompleteness. Marriage is a divine institution, but it is not the sole path to fulfillment. Wholeness and personal growth can be achieved through a relationship with Christ, even without marriage. To those preparing for marriage, it is vital to hold high standards when evaluating a potential spouse. Ladies, consider whether the man can embody the qualities of Christ in your relationship, someone to whom you can submit and align your interests. If not, seek elsewhere. Gentlemen, ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice for her, to love and respect her enough to give of yourself fully, and to be patient and protective. If these commitments cannot be made, marriage to her is not right. Preparation for marriage also involves understanding its divine purpose as established by God. It is not merely a social arrangement but a sacred union meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. This understanding is essential to avoid the pitfalls of a pleasure-seeking culture and to build a marriage on a foundation of mutual respect and spiritual unity. For those contemplating marriage, it is better to remain unmarried than to enter into a union with the wrong person, risking future discord. Marriage must be approached with seriousness, recognizing it as a commitment governed by God's rules, aimed at achieving the happiness and joy intended for it.
Dating (Part 2): The Proper Order of Things
Sermon by Martin G. CollinsSingles in God's church often face the challenge of loneliness and the desire for companionship, yet they must navigate the complexities of dating and marriage with wisdom and patience. The pursuit of a mate should align with God's order and timing, resisting the pull of the world where the risks of spiritual compromise are far greater. Dating outside the church is likened to a dangerous gamble, often leading to heartbreak and spiritual peril, as the differences between believers and unbelievers create an unequal yoke that strains relationships. Preparation for marriage requires time, cultivation, and restraint. Rushing into relationships can obscure true character, as initial attractions often hide deeper flaws. It is vital to take at least a year, if not more, to discern the inner qualities of a potential spouse beyond the superficial. Observing someone's reputation and moral values, especially their attitude toward God and His truth, is essential before allowing a friendship to become romantic. This process must follow a proper order: starting with non-romantic friendship, assessing spiritual compatibility, and only then progressing to romance if there is genuine alignment with God's way. God's design emphasizes orderliness in all aspects of life, including relationships. There is a time to embrace and a time to refrain, as wise Solomon noted, underscoring the importance of patience in dating. Impulsive decisions can lead to lifelong regret, especially when influenced by societal pressures for instant gratification or premarital circumstances that force commitments before readiness. Singles must trust in God's timing, knowing that He desires their happiness and will provide the right mate at the right time if they wait on Him with faith and perseverance. Hope is a powerful force in preparing for marriage, rooted in the confidence that God will fulfill His promises. This hope, sustained by the Holy Spirit, drives singles to grow in character and overcome challenges without despair. Godly hope is not mere wishing but an eager anticipation of God's plan, which often includes marriage for most. By waiting patiently on the Lord and aligning desires with His will, singles can avoid the pitfalls of worldly dating and trust that He will act at the perfect moment to bring the right person into their lives.
Dating Outside the Church
Sermon by Richard T. RitenbaughThe Church of the Great God firmly teaches that dating and marrying outside the church is neither wise nor recommended. It poses a significant stumbling block and often leads to trouble in future years. Baptized members should not date outside the church, and baptized parents should not permit their minor children to do so. Even when children reach maturity without baptism, the hope is that they will choose not to date in the world, as it is a trap that rarely yields positive outcomes. God is producing something special and precious in His people, creating children much like Himself. Anything that hinders this process, such as dating or marrying outside the church, makes the journey harder. Scripture warns against being unequally yoked with unbelievers, as seen in II Corinthians 6:11-7:1, where Paul urges separation from worldly ties that conflict with God's way. The principle of not mixing incompatible elements, like an ox and a donkey yoked together, applies to human relationships, emphasizing that believers and unbelievers cannot walk together in harmony. Practically, having an unconverted mate or dating outside the church makes it nearly impossible to fulfill God's purpose. Differences in fundamental beliefs create constant friction, complicating matters like Sabbath observance, dietary laws, and raising children in the faith. Such disparities can set a poor example for children, affecting their understanding of marriage and religion. Even in the current scattered state of the church, with potential mates few and far between, the principles remain unchanged. God's law and His way of life are immutable, as affirmed in Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 13:8. The story of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 16 illustrates the dire consequences of taking matters into one's own hands rather than trusting God. Patience and faith are essential, trusting that God will provide what is good in His time, as promised in Romans 8:28 and Psalm 37:3-7. The ideal marriage is with someone comparable, sharing beliefs and values, as seen in Genesis 2:18-24, where God created a helper for Adam from his own flesh. Marriages built on common ground tend to endure, while those based on opposites attracting often face long-term challenges. Spiritually, Christ is preparing a bride like Himself, as described in Revelation 19:6-8, setting the pattern for physical marriages to reflect compatibility and unity. If one encounters a potential mate outside the church, extreme caution is necessary. No compromise with God's way of life should be made. The individual must be introduced to the church's beliefs through literature and observation of their response. If they show receptivity, no further steps should be taken until they begin counseling for baptism and demonstrate progress in conversion. Marriage should only occur after baptism, ensuring that conversion precedes commitment, as proceeding otherwise risks severe complications. Throughout Scripture, from Deuteronomy 7:1-4 to Nehemiah 13:23-27 and Malachi 2:10-12, the principle of not intermarrying with those outside the faith is reiterated. Solomon's example in I Kings 11:1-13 shows the grave consequences of such unions, leading to spiritual compromise and severe punishment. Despite the challenges of the church's current situation, there is no reason for despair. God, who can do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, as stated in Ephesians 3:20-21, is capable of providing suitable mates even amidst a scattered church. Trusting in Him with patience and faith remains the steadfast approach to preparation for marriage.
What's Wrong With 'Here Comes the Groom'?
Sermon by Martin G. CollinsGod's design for marriage emphasizes the importance of preparation and mutual need between a man and a woman. In Genesis 2:18, the Lord God declared it is not good for man to be alone, and thus He created a helper comparable to him, showing that companionship is a fundamental aspect of human relationships as established by Him. The preparation for marriage begins long before the union, as seen in Adam's experience when God led him through a process of understanding his need for a companion by observing the animals, realizing none were suited to be his helper due to their lack of being created in God's image. To build a successful marriage, one must become the right kind of person. This means embodying qualities that foster a godly relationship, recognizing that finding the right spouse involves being the right partner oneself. God's intention is for a husband and wife to be one in body and spirit, ensuring that a marriage is not solely based on physical attraction but also on a union of minds and spirits. For Christians, this spiritual unity is paramount, and marrying a non-Christian is cautioned against, as it risks a lack of God's blessing and shared spiritual values, leading to potential heartbreak as illustrated by Solomon's marriage to foreign women who did not worship the Lord. Preparation also involves understanding the roles within marriage as designed by God. The woman was made for man, from man, and given to man as a comparable helper, highlighting a divine order that values mutual support and companionship. This preparation includes cultivating a mindset of service and submission to one another out of reverence for Christ, reflecting the relationship between Christ and the church. A true marriage exists not for individual gain but for the mutual benefit of the couple, their children, society, and ultimately for the glory of God.
Dating (Part 1): The Purposes of Dating
Sermon by Martin G. CollinsMarriage is a profound blessing to be anticipated at the right time, as determined by God. Proper preparation for marriage begins with understanding that God designed humans to be social beings, desiring relationships that culminate in a complementary union, as illustrated in Genesis 2:18, where it is stated that it is not good for man to be alone. God intends for singles to be part of something greater, to complete and be completed by another, reflecting the divine design of marriage. Preparation for marriage involves guarding one's mind against the immoral influences of society, such as deceptive advertising, sexually immoral entertainment, and destructive trends that promote casual relationships over meaningful commitment. Singles must resist the worldly concept of "hooking up" and instead focus on developing wholesome interactions with the opposite sex through proper dating practices. This preparation includes cultivating a right state of mind, maintaining purity, and resisting temptations that could lead to defilement and lifelong consequences. Furthermore, preparation requires active faith and works, including prayer, Bible study, obedience, and personal growth. Singles should expand their interests, improve skills, and increase knowledge while trusting God to prepare them and their future mate for marriage and, more importantly, for a place in His Kingdom. Patience is essential, as is the belief that God will never forsake those who diligently seek Him, ensuring that the right partner will be provided in His time. Proper dating serves as a critical step in this preparation, helping singles to see others as persons rather than objects, discovering unique qualities like names, personalities, and values through interaction. It also aids in self-analysis, revealing personal strengths and weaknesses, and provides opportunities to practice serving others, fostering a spirit of genuine contribution rather than self-interest. Ultimately, dating helps in discovering the kind of person one will marry by exploring compatibility in values, religion, morals, and life goals, ensuring a foundation for a harmonious and fulfilling marriage.
Remembering Who We Are
Feast of Tabernacles Sermon by John O. ReidAs we stand at this pivotal time, we must recognize our calling to be the bride of Jesus Christ, preparing ourselves for the momentous event to come. Revelation 19:6-9 speaks of the marriage of the Lamb, where His bride has made herself ready, adorned in fine linen representing the righteous acts of the saints. Our task now is to prepare through faithfulness and loyalty to our Husband-to-be, reflecting purity and glorification in our actions prior to the wedding. This preparation is deeply personal and individual. Though the church collectively is Christ's bride, it is composed of individuals who must overcome on a personal basis. We are betrothed to an extraordinary Being—the Creator, the Almighty, the Messiah, our provider, healer, judge, and shepherd. He is the Son of God, heir to all things, who humbled Himself for us, and we are called to be His companion. Our current state mirrors the humble beginnings described in Ezekiel 16, where we were once weak and unworthy, yet chosen through a love beyond human comprehension. God has cleansed and adorned us, transforming our condition, yet we must not forget our origins or trust in our own beauty, lest we stray as Israel did. Our responsibility as the bride-to-be is akin to that of a woman preparing for marriage, considering her future husband's nature, work, and desires, striving to be a perfect companion. Genesis 2:18-24 illustrates this with the creation of Eve as a helpmeet for Adam, a role that foreshadows our purpose to be a helpmeet to Jesus Christ. Just as Adam needed a companion to share in his pursuits, so does Christ desire us to assist Him in His endeavors. Proverbs 31:10-31 further defines the qualities we must cultivate as the bride of Christ. We are to be virtuous, trustworthy, diligent, and honorable, working tirelessly for our Husband's projects, showing kindness and wisdom, and ensuring that our actions bring Him glory. Our role is to be a crown to Him, filled with strength of character and moral excellence. In preparing for this divine union, we must leave behind our old life, as Rebekah did in Genesis 24:58-59, embarking on a new journey with our Husband-to-be. This requires a personal transformation, aligning our thoughts and actions with His will. Matthew 19:3-6 emphasizes the permanence of this bond, where two become one flesh, a union not to be separated by any force, reflecting the unity we must achieve with Christ. Malachi 2:11-16 underscores the sanctity of marriage as a holy institution in God's eyes. We must guard our current marriages and our spiritual betrothal to Christ against treachery and separation, recognizing that God hates divorce and desires holy offspring. Our commitment now mirrors the future covenant we will share with Him. Romans 7:1-6 teaches that through Christ's death, we are freed from the old law to be married to Him who was raised from the dead, bearing fruit to God. This new covenant demands that we live by the spirit of the law, striving for perfection in our conduct as His betrothed. Ephesians 5:21-32 provides guidance for this preparation, urging us to submit to one another and to Christ as our Head. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, giving Himself for her, while wives are to respect their husbands. This mutual care and unity symbolize the profound mystery of Christ and the church, where we are to be presented to Him without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish. Thus, as the prospective bride of Jesus Christ, we must seriously consider our role and conduct ourselves accordingly. We are to submit to His will, complement Him in all He asks, and hold Him in the highest esteem, ensuring that nothing separates us from this sacred engagement. Our time now, until His return, is to make ourselves ready, working faithfully to overcome and glorify God in anticipation of becoming the bride of our soon-coming King.
Leadership and Covenants (Part Six)
'Personal' from John W. RitenbaughGod's purpose in creating Eve was to establish marriage and family life, providing a stable environment for the growth of humanity and the rearing of children. Marriage serves both God and mankind well when spouses focus on conforming to His will and maintain a living, growing relationship with Him. Achieving the oneness God desires in marriage is challenging, as indicated by the Hebrew term dâbaq, meaning to join or cleave, which portrays a bond of consistent, sacrificial loyalty and devotion. God seeks from each partner a voluntary, sacrificial giving of themselves to produce this oneness, paralleling the spiritual unity desired with the Father and the Son. Even before marriage, each person's body belongs to their future spouse, emphasizing the responsibility to preserve sexual purity for the one they will marry. Fornication weakens a marriage that has not yet occurred, as each partner belongs to the other even prior to the union. God's design for marriage is not built on sex but on love, defined in Scripture as keeping His commandments through actions and right attitudes, seeking the good of the other at least equal to the love of self. If built around sex, a marriage may endure but could lead to emotional frustration or even adultery, as sex is intended as one of many expressions of love, reserved exclusively within marriage.
Relationship with the World
Sermonette by Craig SablichDesire for companionship could lead one to become unequally yoked with an unbeliever, compromising on God's Law and yielding to the world's culture.
The Perfect Husband
Sermon by Richard T. RitenbaughHusbands need to imitate God's behavior as reflected through the life of Jesus Christ. Isaiah 54 reveals Yahweh (who became Jesus Christ) as the Husband of Israel.
Matthew (Part Twenty-One)
Sermon/Bible Study by John W. RitenbaughThe Pharisees and Sadducees, who normally opposed each other, joined forces against their common enemy, Jesus. They should have recognized Him as the Messiah.
Love's Emotional Dimension
Sermon by John W. RitenbaughLove doesn't become 'love' until we act. If we don't do what is right, the right feeling will never be formed; emotions are largely developed by our experiences.
Matthew (Part Twenty-Eight)
Sermon/Bible Study by John W. RitenbaughWhen God gives a responsibility, He gives all the tools to carry it out and the freedom to decide how to do it. He wants to see how we do with what He gives.
Destroying America From Within (Part One)
Commentary by John W. Ritenbaugh (1932-2023)God confused the languages at the tower of Babel, causing confusion similar to the discord in the West. Without communication, productivity grinds to a halt.
Protecting the Vulnerable
Sermonette by Ted E. BowlingDeuteronomy 21:10-14 gives instructions for the treatment of female prisoners-of-war. This passage demonstrates God's protection of the most vulnerable.
Why Does God Keep Secrets?
Feast of Tabernacles Sermon by David F. MaasBy not revealing everything immediately, God has been employing teaching techniques that have taken the educational community thousands of years to discover.
The Weightier Matters (Part 2): Judgment
Article by StaffJesus lists judgment as the first of the weightier matters in Matthew 23. Judgment is a major part of Christianity, but needs to be properly understood.