Dating and marrying outside the church is unwise, a massive stumbling block that brings trouble in later years. Baptized members should not do it, and baptized parents should not allow their minor children to do it. Converted members who married someone out of the world are the rare exception, not the normal way. II Corinthians 6:11-7:1 forbids being unequally yoked with unbelievers, drawing on Deuteronomy 22:10, where an ox and a donkey cannot pull together. Though the passage speaks generally, marriage is the closest alliance and fits it. Amos 3:3 asks whether two can walk together unless they agree. Righteousness and lawlessness, light and darkness, Christ and Belial have nothing in common. Practical conflicts follow over Sabbath keeping, unclean foods, and the religious training of children. Deuteronomy 7:1-4 forbids intermarriage because it turns hearts to other gods, and Solomon's ruin in I Kings 11, Nehemiah 13, and Malachi 2:10-12 confirm it. God made Eve a helper comparable to Adam, so the best marriages join partners with the most in common, above all shared belief. Christ is likewise preparing a bride like Himself. Being scattered with few eligible mates does not change God's unchanging law. Abraham and Sarah's expedient choice of Hagar shows the cost of jumping the gun. Wait on God in faith, as in Psalm 37, and He will provide a fitting mate. If someone in the world seems right, stay faithful to God's way, share the beliefs and literature, and drop the person if they are unreceptive. Marry only after baptism, because conversion comes first.

Marrying outside the faith is spiritual unfaithfulness. In Malachi's day the men of Judah divorced their Israelite wives to marry pagan women, which profaned the Lord's holy institution of marriage by marrying "the daughter of a foreign god." This was a sin against God through false religious belief, manifested as adultery in their marriages: unfaithful to God, they were unfaithful to their wives. The problem was old, appearing in the mixed multitude that left Egypt, at Baal Peor, and in Ezra and Nehemiah's time, and it is not absent from the church today, whether in the letter of the law or in the heart. Paul addresses the same sin in II Corinthians 6:14-18, forbidding believers to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, including romantically, because righteousness has no fellowship with lawlessness and the temple of God has no agreement with idols. Baptized members stand on a higher plane, and God expects far more of them than of the world. Israel was set apart to bring the Messiah, so anything that broke down the wall of separation served the evil one. Where a couple is already married and only one spouse converts, the Christian should stay with the unbeliever if possible, since the believer may save the spouse. If the unbeliever leaves, the Christian lets that spouse go and chooses peace. Converts who were married and divorced before baptism are forgiven and free to marry as Christians, but they should use wisdom in choosing a mate. The standards of Christian marriage apply to believers, not to the world.

Marriage to someone outside the faith poses significant challenges for a Christian, as it hinders the deepest spiritual connection that God intends for the marital union. A Christian who marries a non-Christian willfully chooses substantial unhappiness, unable to share what is most real and precious in their life. Such a marriage may achieve a union of body with body, and sometimes even soul with soul, but it will never attain the spirit with spirit connection that God desires. This is exemplified in the case of Solomon, who married the daughter of Pharaoh despite knowing it was against God's will, as she did not worship the Eternal. Solomon's recognition of this mismatch led him to build a separate house for her, compartmentalizing his life and illustrating the inevitable division in such unions. The warning is clear: do not assume you will lift the non-Christian to faith, for even if conversion occurs, years of heartache may precede it. If the other person is not a Christian before engagement, they are not the spouse God intends for you. The call to avoid being unequally yoked with unbelievers underscores that true fellowship cannot exist between righteousness and lawlessness, or light and darkness. God's purpose in marriage is to reflect the eternal bond between Christ and the church, a profound mystery that can only be fully realized in a union of shared faith.

Any given doctrine must be built layer by layer, combining and comparing scriptures rather than allowing a single scripture to determine the doctrine. When we understand that porneia includes all the hideous perverted sexual sins that go beyond ordinary adultery- including bestiality, pedophilia, homosexuality, incest, and every other imaginable sexual perversion, we understand that Jesus gave a greater latitude and flexibility in these divorce decisions than we had earlier assumed (based exclusively upon adulterous 'fraud'). Any violence against the marriage contract (stemming from unconversion) would constitute grounds for divorce, and would permit the converted partner to remarry. Mutual access to the tree of life (God's Holy Spirit) gives marriage the best (actually the only) chance to succeed.

A believing wife's conduct toward an unbelieving husband cannot convert him. I Peter 3:1-2 says husbands may be "won" by the chaste, fearful conduct of their wives, but Peter never mentions Jesus there, and he does not say a godly wife can call or convert anyone. God alone opens a mind and gives saving faith. Even Christ's perfect example over three and a half years did not convert everyone who saw Him, so a spouse's perfect example cannot do what it did not do for Him. The "winning" in this verse is the Greek kerdaino, meaning to gain, as in Matthew 18:15, where gaining a brother means restoring a relationship. In the same way, a godly wife may gain her husband's heart, so that he respects her more and lets go of his animosity. This is like Proverbs 16:7, where God makes a man's enemies be at peace with him when his ways please the Lord. Such effort improves the human relationship only, and God alone can initiate a relationship between a man and Himself. Even so, the conduct of a converted spouse matters greatly, because it upholds the holiness of God's name and shows that His way of life produces good results.