Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. This instruction balances the command for children to obey their parents, recognizing the great power fathers hold. While children must honor and obey, parents are cautioned against abusing this authority. Fathers should not overuse their power in ways that provoke anger or other negative reactions in their children. For instance, commanding a child to perform tasks occasionally is acceptable, but making them do so constantly, turning them into slaves, crosses a line and can lead to resentment or rebellion. This provocation is not limited to anger alone. Some children may react with hot anger, while others might hold it inside, become depressed, hurt themselves, act out in rebellion, or plot revenge. The range of negative responses can vary widely, from wrath to discouragement, showing that parental behavior can deeply impact a child's emotional state. Fathers are warned against causing their children to distrust, hate, or harbor extreme feelings due to overbearing or neglectful parenting. In a parallel instruction, fathers are urged not to discourage their children, lest they become disheartened, lacking confidence, enthusiasm, or a positive outlook on life. This discouragement can manifest as dejection, apathy, or a defeatist attitude, showing the broad spectrum of harm that unwise childrearing can cause. Parents hold a monumental responsibility in shaping their children's attitudes and behaviors, with the power to make or break their character. Children, especially when young, look up to their parents as they would to God, trusting them completely and modeling their moods, attitudes, and actions. This influence is a weighty responsibility, as children are a parent's legacy, reflecting the quality of parenting they received. Examining King David's example, his childrearing practices reveal significant shortcomings. He did not rebuke or discipline his children, never questioned their actions, and was likely an uninvolved, neglectful, and busy father, prioritizing his throne and kingdom over family. This benign neglect contributed to negative outcomes in his children, such as Absalom's narcissism and rebellion, Amnon's predatory behavior, Tamar's withdrawal after trauma, Adonijah's scheming ambition, and Solomon's self-indulgence and megalomania. David's lack of involvement and discipline bore responsibility for these destructive paths. Fathers can provoke their children in several ways. Being absent physically, emotionally, or spiritually neglects a child's need for an involved, encouraging presence. Acting solely as a disciplinarian, like an angry despot, breeds anger rather than showing a multidimensional, loving personality. Taking more than giving, engaging children only for personal gain, fails to meet their needs. Constant criticism deflates a child's spirit, while encouragement builds them up. Publicly humiliating children breeds resentment, whereas private correction preserves dignity. Being stingy or withholding generosity makes children feel worthless, while generous acts teach a giving spirit. Finally, failing to admit mistakes or apologize sets a hypocritical example, as children are quick to notice inconsistencies in parental behavior.

Over the past 150 years, childrearing practices have swung from harsh, authoritarian methods to extreme permissiveness. In the Victorian era, fathers ruled with an iron hand, enforcing strict discipline often through severe corporal punishment, viewing children as subjects to be controlled rather than nurtured. Any deviation from obedience was met with harsh repercussions, as children were expected to be seen and not heard, complying instantly to commands. By the early 20th century, particularly after World War I, a shift began toward more lenient approaches, influenced by progressive ideas from Europe and figures like Dr. Benjamin Spock, whose widely influential book advocated gentler methods, reflecting a belief in the inherent goodness of children and a rejection of strict discipline. This societal pendulum has led to confusion among modern parents, who often lack clear guidance on raising children. The Bible, however, offers a balanced middle road, neither endorsing brutal punishment nor total leniency. Parents are instructed not to provoke their children to negative reactions such as anger or rebellion, but to be thoughtful and self-controlled in their approach, ensuring discipline fosters contrition rather than resentment. If children consistently respond with hostility or defiance, it signals a need for substantive changes in parenting practices to avoid instilling harmful character traits. Ephesians 6:4 provides concise guidance, urging parents to bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord. "Bring them up" implies rearing from infancy to maturity with tenderness and care, focusing on guiding them to adulthood. "Training" suggests a systematic plan involving rules, rewards, and sometimes punishments, akin to a regimen designed to achieve maturity, which may include struggles but is necessary for growth. "Admonition" refers to verbal correction, warning children of faults and guiding them toward right behavior, requiring parental wisdom to discern and address issues. Both training and admonition must be "of the Lord," meaning they should reflect godly principles and emulate the character and methods of Christ, ensuring that every interaction—whether through deeds, words, or example—bears the quality that God would approve. The essence of parenting lies in centering Christ in all efforts, striving to mirror His instruction and example in interactions with children. Parents must grow in their own spiritual maturity, as their development directly influences how they guide their children. The atmosphere of childrearing must be one that God would sanction, acting as a conduit of His teachings. Though Scripture provides no single detailed example of parenting, it offers principles and hints throughout, encouraging parents to seek and apply this wisdom. The goal is to foster balanced growth in children—intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social—mirroring the development seen in Jesus Christ Himself, who advanced through effort and parental guidance. This can be achieved by consistently bringing children up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Childrearing is a critical responsibility in shaping the behavior and character of children, countering the influences of the adversary who seeks to lead them astray through the world and peer pressures. The goal of childrearing is to instill a love as close to Godly love as possible, characterized by unselfishness, serving, and caring for others. This love is expressed through actions and involves keeping God's commandments, often requiring sacrifice and sometimes pain, as correcting a child can be emotionally challenging for parents. Correcting children, including spanking when justified, is presented as an act of love. Failing to correct due to emotional discomfort is seen as a form of hatred, denying the child necessary instruction for a proper outlook on life. Children must learn they cannot always do as they please, and spanking serves as a deterrent to such behavior. The dominant approach of permissiveness, which assumes human nature is inherently good and avoids the pain of correction, contradicts the understanding that foolishness is deeply rooted in a child. If parents love their child, they must intervene to prevent foolish actions that could lead to harm. Fathers are directly answerable to God for leading in childrearing, even though mothers often have closer contact with children. Fathers must involve themselves and not remain detached. The warning not to provoke children to wrath or resentment emphasizes the need for judicious discipline. Extremes in severity or permissiveness can harden a child or drive them to exasperation. A balanced approach, avoiding both harshness and neglect, is essential. Punishment should not be administered in rage or inconsistency, as capricious reactions—being indulgent one day and overly strict the next—can provoke a child. Parents must control their temper and maintain objectivity when disciplining, ensuring they do not react excessively or unpredictably. Hearing a child out before deciding on punishment is fair, and the severity of correction should match the offense, recognizing that not every misdeed warrants the same level of discipline. Overprotection, favoritism, nagging, and neglect are additional pitfalls that can provoke a child to wrath, hindering their growth and maturity. The instruction to bring children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord provides balanced counsel. Nurture involves the processes that help a child grow in body, mind, and spirit, encompassing discipline, instruction, correction, and testing. Admonition focuses on verbal instruction delivered with seriousness but without harshness, aiming to influence the child's judgment. Both nurture and admonition must be rooted in the Lord, reflecting His example, attitudes, methods, and words in all aspects of childrearing. This distinctively Christian approach underscores that children are a heritage from God, a gift on loan from the Creator, and parents are responsible for lovingly and judiciously guiding them toward eternity.