Outgoing concern is agape, the godly love Herbert Armstrong defined as unselfish, outgoing concern toward others. It differs from eros (sexual attraction), storge (natural family affection), and phileo (warm, emotional fondness for those in one's chosen group), which are natural human loves. Agape is a superior love whose source is in heaven: God pours it into the hearts of His elect through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5), and it is a fruit of that Spirit. It engages the whole personality, mind and will as well as emotion, so it is less a feeling than a purposeful, conscientious way of living. It begins as a decision to do what is right for others because God commands it, starting with obeying His commandments (I John 5:3) and expanding into selflessness and sacrifice. Philippians 2:1-5 shows how it looks: unity of mind, no selfish ambition, esteeming others better than oneself, and looking out for the interests of others, as Christ did when He emptied Himself to serve. Believers imitate this until it becomes character, and the two great commandments, loving God and loving neighbor, sum it up (Mark 12:29-31). Paul calls it the greatest godly virtue (I Corinthians 13). Over time agape should combine with the warmth of phileo, since the Family of God needs both.

True love is unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another, together with deep admiration and respect for the other's character and a desire to give and share. It is not lust, infatuation, physical attraction, or "falling in love," which are self-centered and harm the other person. Love is not abusive, and it is not frenzied emotion, though emotion is connected with it. The Greek agape is intelligent, heartfelt concern that expresses itself first in obedience to God's commandments (I John 5:3; II John 6) and then in thinking and acting toward others with genuine concern and tenderness. I Corinthians 13 shows that love suffers long, is kind, does not seek its own, thinks no evil, endures all things, and never fails. It is the greatest of faith, hope, and love, and the one that takes the most effort. Love of neighbor and love of God cannot be separated (Luke 10:27; I John 4:20-21), and whatever is done to a neighbor is done to God (Matthew 25). Every person is made in God's likeness and is a potential member of God's family, so no one should do anything to deter a neighbor from God's purpose. Human nature is not naturally selfless and outgoing, so love requires wisdom, willpower, and determination, along with God's Spirit. Selfish habits must be broken and replaced by habitual selfless love, since God Himself acts consistently in selfless love. In dating and marriage, love acts with initiative and genuine concern for everyone, taking the focus off self. A prospective mate's treatment of others shows whether he or she truly loves.

Loving one another with the outgoing concern God has is the absolute necessity of the Christian life and the identifying mark of Christ's disciples (John 13:34-35). This is agape love, a willful direction toward others' good that does what is best for them, not merely what they want, and it requires effort and conversion because human nature does not produce it. Family love and friendship's love come easily; agape loves enemies, blesses those who curse, refuses to repay evil for evil, and leaves vengeance to God (Matthew 5:44-48; Romans 12). Christ modeled it by calling sinful men, teaching by example, healing the servant who came to arrest Him, and praying for His executioners' forgiveness. First Corinthians 13 describes its character: it is patient, kind, humble, not self-seeking, thinks no evil, covers faults, hopes all things, and endures all things. Without it, gifts and sacrifices are worthless. It belongs first in the home between husband, wife, and children, then in the church as a true family, and then toward the world as a light. Offenses must be settled promptly by going privately to the offender with a right attitude (Matthew 18:15), since hatred is murder and reconciliation precedes worship. When someone is hard to love, a person can ask God for love toward him and decide to love him even if it is not returned. Satan pries at offenses to divide God's people, so complacency must be resisted. This love is the foundation of God's Kingdom.